We, humans, are a social animal and are wired to be seeking intimate, long-term relationships. We want to love and be loved.
The start of a matrimonial relationship brings excitement, which seems would going to last forever but with time, ups and downs of relationship it would start to die out. It is here, you need to keep the excitement of marriage going on by nurturing relationships. This the relationship goal you need to set at the start of a matrimonial relationship. The fuel to the flame of marriage is care, compassion, and communication, which culminate in love.
The individual personality and traits are unique for each person bringing uniqueness into the relationship. Every couple’s relationship is unique and has different needs and wants. As each relationship is unique, each tip(s) given below might not work perfectly but you can use the experience as a springboard to try other similar techniques.
The real goal for a relationship is the fulfillment of real aspiration of the couple’s near and foreseen future. The goal of capturing good, happy photo opportunities for sharing your love on social media cannot be the real focus of your relationship. The couple who are serious in nurturing Relationship/marriage must have a growth mindset for such a relationship. The following are sure shot 7 ways to create a growth mindset for matrimonial relationships:-
Give space to your spouse to breathe in the relationship
Being possessive and over-included could be an explanation behind breaking down and losing affection, love in marriage. Every one of us needs ‘me-space’ and ‘personal time’ of our own seeing someone particularly marriage. The marital relations could be in some cases overpowered after the initial honeymoon period on account of an absence of individual space.
It’s anything but difficult to overlook different relations of life in the special first night time frame. In any case, the hangover of the honeymoon period brings the acknowledgment of the existence of different relations. Thereafter, the couple makes the conscious withdrawal of intimacy, looking for ‘personal time’ and individual space, and so on.
The fact of reality is that no one person or relationship could be and should be responsible for your happiness. Giving ‘me-time’ for yourself is equally important to remain happy and relevant in any relationship. A person can not be happy unless he/she is happy about himself/herself.
“It is your burden and responsibility to be happy and not others. You could be happy where you are, in what you are doing.”
Don’t hold back but push each other to grow together
Most of the time, marriage is considered an end of the aspirations of the prospective wife. Try to be in support of each other for whatever he/she wants in life. As a husband, you should encourage and help your prospective wife for her endeavor to achieve, what she aspired for.
Don’t let her feel that being in the relationship would be a hindrance to achieving any personal goal for her. People move through life, they change and grow, be the one to help grow your spouse in the relationship. Try to keep the relationship goal in sync with your partner aspiration.
Take time to check out the interest of your partner and show interest in each other’s goals and aspirations. Try to know the interest of each other. A pep talk on your spouse’s interesting topic would bring much joy and happiness to her. It would also bring trust in the relationship and goes to show they care for each other.
Invigourate Sex life in a marriage relationship and keep dating
In our social setup, where marriage brings legitimacy to sex, it is fairly natural, that sex plays an important part in any marriage. However, after the honeymoon phase, there are other aspects of the relationship which come into fore and sometimes life becomes busy and stressful leaving little space for sex. In a marriage relationship, you must be open to discuss frankly on sex and shouldn’t shun or shut it out.
Couples that have intimate moments at least once a week record the greatest satisfaction in their marital relationship. The occasional dating events, outside meetings with your spouse bring charm in the marriage. In seeking intimacy, the couple should be comfortable and must respect each other’s boundaries at all times. The desire and need must be balanced and mutually addressed giving respect to each other. A solid and fulfilling intimate life is one of the relationship goals you need to accomplish to make your bond more grounded and stronger.
A committed relationship needs an appreciation of the role played by each partner
If you ask from your grandparents, in past the minimal number of divorce occurred because each partner was aware of his/her respective roles in marriage and there was no occasion of standing on each other toes.
The husband was the bread earner and his wife would be a homemaker. There were demarcated boundaries for each to work on and normally would not interfere in each other domains. However, in the present social and economical scenario, both couples could be financially capable of earning and running the house and both would want each other to put input and effort in financial and household works/matters. This raises more chances of dissatisfaction in the mind of one for the amount of effort and time put by others.
Even in changed social and financial situation, the couple can mutually demarcate their domain of influence to avoid unnecessary tussle and complications.
Believe in the #powerofpositivity. Instead of being a critic and always pointing out problems in the actions and behavior of your spouse, never lose any occasion to give appreciation and affection. Try to be a cheerleader, a supporter of your spouse. Remember this isn’t a one-way street and it is absurd to expect the same behavior from your spouse as was earlier when you changed your behavior towards him/her.
Make sure to actively communicate and understand each other
To give a text message on WhatsApp to your wife …saying #missingyou, would be more romantic than going out for dinner. This would show the other person that you value his/her presence in their life and keep your bond strong. To keep better health of the relationship, you need to nurture a strong emotional bond. Nurturing the emotional bond is one way of #howtobehappy.
Not every person communicates in a similar manner of affection due to differences in personality, culture, values, etc. One must understand it is not necessary that how you respond to love, your partner would also be responding similarly to your love. Putting an effort to comprehend the language your partner is the most important goal of a relationship, which would fortify your bond. This could be through figuring out how to peruse their non-verbal communication, or it could be through essentially talking more and being increasingly open — clarifying considerations and emotions until every one of your perspectives is completely understood.
Handle your Arguments effectively
We won’t generally agree with our partner, in some cases, they may drive us out and out mad. The difference of opinion is normal and if handled properly could allow the couple to make the right choices. It is seldom that difference of opinion creates a dispute but it is tone and manner in which the difference of opinion is conveyed that creates dispute. The key is to argue viably and with compassion is another relationship goal.
We have to talk about our perception of fact with benevolence and love. If you don’t figure out a resolution, you can be quiet, make a point to take a break and return to the theme when cooler heads can win.
Don’t neglect your relationship, Prioritize and give time
As is ‘me-time’ and ‘me-space’ important, equally important is to prioritize and give time in a marital relationship, especially after the honeymoon. If you are in a joint family setup, taking out a personal and intimate moment to just have a good chat is a nice way of nurturing relationships. The quality time for each individual could be different based upon personal taste and touch, you can always take a mutual decision for ways to have quality time with each other.
Always keep the focus on your relationship and make it your priority. Despite your busy schedule and hectic activities in life try to make out time for some personal moments, a private outing, etc. Actively nourish your relationship, it is not a one-time affair. As without fuel/wood, a fire would die of its flame similarly without nurturing the relationship, the marriage could die.
One cannot achieve happiness by changing situations or relationships but we can be happy, by changing ourselves through our situations and relationships.
“There are three types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant. This also applies to romantic relationship..” Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep – love by Amir Levine, Rachel S.F. Heller
We all want a more purposeful, emotional and profound bond with our partners. Everyone can achieve this if you make above real relationship goals, and are ready to put time and effort to nurture the relationship. This would lead to a truly happy married life.
The Author, Legal Mind Ajit Kumar, is a Divorce Coach, Family Mediator and an expert in conflict resolution besides being a practicing Divorce/Family Lawyer. If you are in a dysfunctional marriage and looking for a quick divorce, visit our website https://medvorce.com for a free registration by creating an account to find if you are qualified for a mutual and uncontested divorce.
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