Mediation is definitely not a compromise! A most common misconception and misplaced belief of a disputing wife seeking divorce or Marital Mediation is that she has to compromise on maintenance, alimony or custody rights of the children in mediation.
Mostly a wife would be anxious and might be putting a question to herself! If I mediate do I have to compromise?
As a certified mediatior, I am doing Divorce and Marital Mediation for over a decade for court refered and private disputing couples. Sometimes, disputing couples do come and upright inform that they do not want to compromise. The expression is not that they do not want a resolution of their dispute but it only shows their intent not to give in and let the culprit spouse go away. The false apprehension of any possible give in during mediation spurred up and comes into their mind due to ignorance about the process of mediation itself.
To bust this myth revolving around and creating doubts for the mediation means in effect a compromise, one truly needs to understand the mediation.
“Mediation is a structured and confidential process for conflict resolution in which a mutually acceptable neutral third party i.e. mediator, who has no authority to make binding decisions for disputants, intervenes to assist the parties in conflict or dispute to improve their relationships, enhance communications, and use effective problem-solving and negotiation procedures to reach a voluntary and mutually acceptable understanding or agreement on contested issues.”
It is an extension of the negotiation process and uses it to resolve conflict. Mediation is a process for a self determinable, mutual, and amicable settlement with full control of parties to the outcome of the resolution process.
To help parties, a mediator must explain it to the parties at the earliest in “Introduction” or in “ground rules” that the parties are not forced to compromise but parties do have the opportunity to look for a resolution that will work out for both the sides.
Most conflicts and disputes arose due to unmet needs and want of parties to a dispute or their perceptional differences or competition of limited resources. If in a resolution process your needs are fulfilled, the perceptional differences are corrected removing any threat or fear of taking over limited resources or unfair division of the resources. This can not be in no way called a compromise.
Compromise is one of the styles of conflict management amongst others like accommodation, avoidance, collaboration, and competition. Mediation is mostly based on collaboration to satisfy the needs and wants of each party. In mediation, parties are encouraged to discuss amongst and between them to reflect, self introspect, and helping them to understand the perspective of others involved in the dispute.
Sometimes mediator assists disputing couples in mediation with some techniques of self-reflection. The disputing couple has the opportunity to undergo a reality check, to realize and understand the best alternative to a negotiated settlement, which prompted them to reach out to the other party/spouse traveling midway in whatever way emotional, financial, or need-based. This helps them to resolve the conflict, and also helps them in better achieving a satisfactory settlement with a future to their relationship in or outside the marriage.
A compromise always gives an inclination of not getting what you wanted, since there is always an element of concession. It is sort of giving and take, there is more often than not some exchanges and adjustment of claims and demands. This may lead to dissatisfaction that you are leaving something to move on in your life or to achieve some other goals.
As talked about earlier, most couples also are aversed to “compromise” because they do not want to show that they are weak. Sometimes, refusing to compromise is reasoned with the feeling of not leaving a culprit side go away scot-free. Since, it can cause damage to your thoughts and feelings, which may lead to depression.
A compromise is, therefore, never considered by parties a win-win situation by the parties, unless they have chosen to accommodate. It is normally as a last resort, and if at all always on the mutual consent of parties. A mediation is not an adversary process and always helps parties to achieve a mutually beneficial settlement and a win-win situation.
You need to get a certified mediator if you want to increase your chances of a successful and satisfying mediation settlement and avoid the feeling of a compromise. A certified mediator with good practice and experience works with both you and your spouse to help achieve a self negotiated settlement agreement, which is mutual and gives complete satisfaction to the resolution of the dispute.
If you are looking to resolve your marital dispute and want to take benefit of mediation for your divorce or relationship issues. Contact Mr. Ajit Kumar, Advocate, Relationship Coach, and a Certified Mediator, who can assist you in initiating the mediation process, which is non-adversarial and help in avoiding further flare-up of your dispute. This helps in reducing conflict, maintaining peace, and reduce the overall cost of obtaining a divorce or any other resolution. If you are in a dysfunctional marriage and looking for a quick divorce, visit our website https://medvorce.com for a free registration by creating an account to find if you are qualified for a mutual and uncontested divorce.
Call us now at 9810522134 or email us at legalmindajitkumar@gmail.com to schedule your free conflict analysis and success planning session. Let’s Start a WhatsApp chat.
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