The recent trend of the rising number of private mediation shows the court is not always the right answer, especially in marital disputes between couples.
If you find out how much does a divorce cost in metropolitan cities of India, you will be not be amused to find the cost of legal separation is quite high at times in lacs with non-guarantee clause. A court contested divorce case is always based on Zero-sum Game and has all incidents of uncertainty. The increased cost of seeking legal separation or divorce from the court also dissuades the couple from seeking the route of litigation in the first instance without exploring other options. The lower costs of mediation help in avoiding expensive court litigation.
The financial costing factor for obtaining a resolution with uncertainty and having Zero-Sum mannerism (win-loose), besides other negative factors of litigation puts married couple off from litigation and pushing them towards private mediation. The couples with celebrity status have other drawbacks of court litigation for their marital disputes, as it puts them in the public eye, court proceedings give easy access to media and immense public pressure. This lack of privacy in court litigation, which is at times intrusive and invariably creates a stressful situation for the couples. It is for these reasons couples prefer to have their resolution in a more private setting with the obvious choice of Marital or Divorce Mediation.
There is a new understanding amongst the practicing family lawyers of the inherent benefits of private mediation, and therefore, there is also a regular practice for family lawyers to refer their clients to mediators before initiating a court action to resolve disputes amicably and mutually. Since now private mediation is a trending subject with much of the information is available on the internet to couples to have them set out their priorities and choosing it before taking the last resort to court litigation for divorce.
Since the benefits of divorce mediation outscore the adjudicatory court process it is obvious that private mediation is rising day by day.
The question is does in all matrimonial cases, a private mediation can be applied and still be an effective process for resolution of marital discord and disagreements. I have no hesitation to say, that in cases where disputants couple for some reasons are not equally placed, making one party to be in a dominant position or where there is a history of excessive physical violence in a relationship, the private mediation can not be as effective a solution, as would be in all other situations.
The benefit of marital private mediation is apparent, Where parties are living in the same house but with very less or no communication between them? Parties are not on talking terms. Whenever they try to talk to each other it leads to arguments, name calling and a risk of esclation of full fledged fight. Similarly, in cases where residing separately either in the same city or different cities making traveling an issue in itself?
In all the above situations and more, private mediation provides a solution to the problem, which is more aligned to the couple’s goals and aspirations. A couple aspires and desire in an ideal resolution process, a more private setup, a process with self-determination capabilities for them, an approach with less aggression to maintain a relationship, a platform for obtaining a resolution in a dignified manner by maintaining face and avoiding shame; and above all which can avoid conflict. All these aspirations and desires could only be achieved with private mediation.
Private Mediation helps in addressing the couple’s real needs with a focus on to their future, helping them to achieve their personal or professional goals are some of the benefits, amongst others private marital/divorce mediation. However, a private mediation shines not because of only these benefits but for how it achieves the aspiration and desires of the disputing couple.
Benefits of Private Mediation:
1. Avoid conflict and helps to manage conflict without escalation:
The court litigation is the last resort, anyone would like especially in matrimonial disputes. In a society with typical social beliefs and values with which we are brought up, the first endeavor is to resolve differences by negotiation to keep relationship unharmed. However, when there is a lack of trust and respect creating barriers to effective communication, it is difficult for a self tried resolution and the next option comes for private mediation.
As going for court litigation, maybe an honest, positive attempt of managing conflict with the intent of its resolution for you but is always considered by the other party as an aggressive attempt of stamping his/her rights or positions. In couples, when there is mutual hostility, falling into such perceptions is a bit obvious.
Private Mediation, on the other hand, is always considered as a conciliatory effort for a collaborative resolution, not an offensive one like court litigation. Therefore, private mediation helps in avoiding conflict and keeps a potential conflict from escalation any further.
In court litigation, the conflict keeps on getting bigger and bigger on each
successive stage of litigation be it confronting claims by filing written
statement, tendering evidence, producing witnesses or their cross-examination,
and in final argument of the case. Private Mediation is something, which could
avoid all this and thus, remain non-litigious.
2. Private Mediation is Private :
Private Mediation is discrete and private; litigated divorce is public, which brings the dispute in the public domain. In private mediation, the dispute remains discrete and as the nomenclature expresses, it remains private. The core of the private mediation being the confidentiality, which is being observed during the mediation process and even after arriving at a mutually and amicable resolution of a dispute.
Private mediation also helps in keeping a potential conflict out of media in people with celebrity status, thereby saving and preserving face, avoiding public pressure and stress to the couple in matrimonial cases. It is always a desire of disputing couple to keep the entire resolution process private and confidential to help them vent out emotions.
“In Private Mediation, a Mediator has no authority to make binding decisions for those seeking to resolve their differences/conflicts, like in the adversarial process of litigation, where third-party (judge/Arbitrator) has decision making authority concerning issues in dispute and the disputants.”
3. Maintain Relationship:
The desire to maintain a relationship is the first and a pertinent choice for any couple in an intimate relationship like marriage. A process with an added benefit resulting in a better long-term relationship with your husband or ex-husband is possible by private mediation since you will not be having a “fight” in court.
4. Maintain Face and avoid shame:
A private mediation provides an opportunity to disputing couples to have a graceful resolution in a dignified manner without blaming or shaming each other. It helps in maintaining personal dignity and primacy of the individual helping further to maintain a beneficial relationship for the future.
5. Prevent protest behavior:
Private mediation helps in resolving unresolved interpersonal differences of the couple, which were being piled up and leading to a conflict. The consequences of the unresolved differences come in the form of protest behaviors and emotional drama. Such repetitive negative behaviors mostly from a dependent wife could harm her emotional wellbeing and overall environment further hampering effective communication.
6. A structured process providing self-determination:
In an intimate relationship, the differences may be termed as dispute or conflict in court litigation, however, they more or less are concerns, varied perceptions, unmet needs and wants of a spouse in a marital relationship. Do you think, any judge would be able to understand or would have time to understand or you would be allowed to air your thoughts in an adversarial system of justice, where you are represented through a lawyer. It does not provide you the ability to self determine your issues and the case.
“Private mediation is the only resolution process, which gives disputing parties the right of self-determination on the initiation of the process, to define issues to be resolved and actual outcome of the resolution, itself.”
Private mediation provides a structured process that is conducted confidentially and brings a certainty of a positive and collaborative outcome of a negotiated resolution of a dispute through the intervention, help in assisting to control the process, although the mediator can not adjudicate for a binding resolution. The structured process provides the parties with self-determination and control over the outcome in the form of the final resolution, where the mediator has control over the entire process of mediation.
There are several other benefits of private mediation also but the above were discussed from the standpoint of married couples seeking resolution of their relationship concerns and their aspirations and desire while seeking an appropriate resolution process.
The Author, Legal Mind Ajit Kumar, is a Relationship Coach, Family Mediator, and an expert in conflict resolution besides being a practicing Divorce/Family Lawyer. For seeking a Marital or Divorce Mediation through Video Conferencing and one to one online/phone counseling on any relationship issues, you can call and make an appointment at 9810522134. If you are in a dysfunctional marriage and looking for a quick divorce, visit our website https://medvorce.com for a free registration by creating an account to find if you are qualified for a mutual and uncontested divorce.
If you have any questions feel free to comment below so that I can help you further. You can further suggest a new topic on any aspect of Couple Mediation and Relationship to make a new post. Also, please help me share this post on Facebook or click to tweet! I’d appreciate your help. Let’s Start a WhatsApp Chat.
0 Comments